and some white nikes and a jean jacket he was totally not dressed for this situation .he tried to scoop the snow it kind of work but he tried scooping from the bottom and CRASH down went the snow..JUMP!! Mark jumped at the perfect time he was so relieved now he could keep going and hopefully find a little village while his stay then he could go back to his dog...GURGLE that was mark’s stomach he didn’t realise how hungry he was lucky he packed heaps of food he sat down and had his apple and banana then he got up feeling energised and ready to start walking again.It was getting late he had to find a little cave to sleep in then he came across a little hole in the ground that he thought he could ...SQUEEZE,SQUEEZE he just got in it was a tight squeeze but he made it the only thing he was worried about was that the ice could fall and suffocate him while he was sleeping but there was nowhere else to sleep so he just faced his fears and closed his eyes and went to sleep. Ahh finally the sun had rose Mark was up for like three hours before the sun had rose but now it was time to have some food and continued on his great journey then he heard a wee little rumble “oh no is the ice cracking again” he said but he was in luck because that rumbling was so far away from him he couldn’t barely see it so he kept walking after like an hour and a half he sore something like a little cabin or house and then two and three and at that moment he realised he had found the village ever one had told him there was no such thing as a little village but now mark had found it “YES” he shouted excitedly he ran faster than he ever had this was amazing he had finally found it.faster and faster he ran the he came to the back of one of those little house and lent on it but he had to tell someone because he didn’t want them to think he was trespassing he was here over wise what's the point then he spotted the chive on a chair on his wooden porch he ran over there the chive was actually really friendly and so were the others one of the villagers gave him a hot chocolate the others gave him a nice little cottage with a nice bed and warm cosy blankets he was so happy after all this place has never been discovered but no will know about this village it will stay a secret forever.when mark decided to go back home the chief said that they had some spear slay dogs that he could use Mark was so happy he loved dogs and especially huskies and siabarain husky he even had one of his own.
he said a huge thanks to the chief and all of the other villagers and headed of while he was sliding he felt free and so did the dogs he got back to his hometown there was someone waiting for him it was the person to take the dogs back and next to him was Mark’s dog sitting and waiting for him to take him back home he gave the rains of the dogs back to the owner of the dogs and the guy gave him his dog it looked like the guy had been looking after his husky Mark shook the guys hand and said a huge thank you.Mark watched the slid of into the distance Mark walked his dog down the row of houses and there was his him and his dog lived a happy but when mark got another dog his dog was happier and so was he.
Wow Rita what a long story you have written! I really like that you have used onomatopoeia and you keep the reader in suspense about what is going to happen. Next steps would be to add some more punctuation, so full stops and commas. Keep up the awesome blogging!
ReplyDeleteokay.Thanks for the feed back NJ next time i will try put same more punctuation.
ReplyDeleteWOW i loved your story Rita! Nice work.🐴
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